Letting Go of the Mommy Mantra
"You just don't get it. " How many of us as mothers, or just as people in general, have said or felt this way? Working at a middle school it seems the creed of adolescents, that no one can possibly understand how you're feeling at a particular moment. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that at times it is not valid. I have never experienced PTSD or even postpartum depression. Sometimes there are times when you need to seek out help and get a professional involved and there is NOTHING wrong with that.
But the danger of the Mommy Mantra focused on the fact that others don't understand your journey, is the isolation of it all. I'ts true, no one will ever understand your unique child or journey, but we do share common experiences. Motherhood, parenthood for that matter, can be overwhelming and isolating at times and adding to that doesn't help you at all. Don't get stifled in the desolation of it all. As women it can be easy to get lost in the unrealistic expectations we try to force on ourselves and the shame we then impose on ourselves. Mom Guilt is real no matter what choices you make as a mother. The amazing Brene Brown once said that we need to "douse shame with empathy." But you can't do that if you have shut yourself off from the world because it doesn't understand what you're going through.
We have to let go of the Mommy Mantra and reach out (and yes the theme song from frozen and depeche mode both just went through my head too). Reach out to other mothers in your family, in your friends, and especially outside those circles. Reach out to your friends who aren't mothers. Reach out to your spouse! Make connections within your circle of comfort and outside of it. People can't ever have a chance of understanding unless you first give them that chance.