5 Women You Need in Your Tribe
Let me start by saying that I love the idea of having a tribe. It brings to mind historically Native American rituals of less focus on one's self and much more of a communal mindset. It isn't just about me, it's about so much more than that. My sister once told me that during your darkest times you can discover those who really care if you just pay attention. These last months may not have been the darkest I will ever encounter but they definitely weren't sunshine and rainbows. I was blessed to be able to have that advice to reflect on to discover and sometimes rediscover women who empowered me, comforted me, challenged me, and became my tribe. So if you're in that stage of wondering "Do I have a tribe?" or "Do I need a tribe?" or "How do I get a tribe?" here are some essential women to include. **DISCLAIMER** I did not include your mother for a few reasons. While I could not get through a day let alone a week without the mother figures in my life the reality is that it is not always our choice if our mother is there. But I also implore you to embrace your mother, grandmother, aunt, etc if you are blessed with them in your life.
The Work Bestie
Wait! Before you write this off as only a blog for working women let me explain because this if for everyone. Whether you work out of the home, from home, or your work is the home you need a work friend. You need someone who does what you do because regardless of the type, all work brings stresses that your spouse may not understand. This person can go have lunch with you, happy hours, and just vent together. They can also be a positive aspect on those rough days that we all have.
The Mom Friend
All moms need another mom friend. There are pros and cons to all types. If you have a mom friend whose children are older than they have a ton of experience and advice to share. If you have one whose children are younger, than you can help and share with them. If you have one with the same age well then chances are you can vent and struggle and celebrate together. It just all rocks. Hell if you can, have them all!
The Non-Mom Friend
Equally important is the friend with no kids. The friend who on certain days you live vicariously through (one of mine toured Europe last year for an entire month…). She not only keeps you in touch with the person you are outside of your kids but she keeps you grounded. As moms we, understandably, sometimes get bogged down in diapers, feedings, potty training, dance recitals, sports, etc. All our interests are these little people we are trying to keep alive. Guess what? As hard as it sometimes is to accept there is a whole world out there that doesn't care that your kid had a blow out. This is the friend who reminds you of that but still loves you enough to listen to that story.
The Relative Friend
Even if you are an only child you surely have a cousin, in law, etc who is a female relative. This woman can become such an important part of yours and your children's lives. There is a special bond that they have with your child and you. Sometimes these take more work than others because after all they are the one we don't choose but they can also be some of the most rewarding. They understand how crazy your parents or family can be and how much of a brat you can be, and vice a versa, and still love you.
The Out of Town Friend
If I was writing this ten years ago this one might be a stretch but in our age of technology and social media now it can be much more feasible. This friend could be someone you've known for a long time and never lost touch with, someone you reconnected with, or even someone you met through a different outlet. They are not directly in your circle or town so their view on many issues is completely fresh and different. They offer perspectives that enhance so much about your life and parenting. Hold onto them!
Keep in mind you could have a ton of each of these or only a few but our lives as women and mothers are enhanced by them all. It doesn't just take a village to raise a child it takes a village to live a life, embrace it!